


Anyone But Him.

by WhatTheWentz



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Doctor/Jack friendship, Donna Noble mention, Grief, M/M, Mourning, Sad, janto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4256088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatTheWentz/pseuds/WhatTheWentz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto is gone, and Jack can't take that.  So when the Doctor finds him on a far away planet, he begs him to bring him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anyone But Him.

“Jack?” the Doctor called when he saw the shadowed figure leaning, forehead resting against a wall -- he hoped this wasn’t his ex-companion, this obviously drunk, wrecked induavidual, “You okay?”

 

A bitter laugh escaped the man as he turned to face the Time Lord, “Okay?” he walked out of the dimly-lit alleyway, a grim look upon his face, cobalt eyes lusterless, “No, I’m not okay.”

 

The Doctor knew instantly from the American accent that it was, in fact, Jack, and walked to his friend, attempting to rest a hand on his shoulder, but being violently shrugged off by the other man.  They were on some planet that the Doctor hadn’t ever visited before, bizarre since he was sure he deactivated Jack’s Rift Manipulator.  He must’ve been wrong and that tingled in his stomach -- he loved being wrong.

 

“What happened?” the Time Lord’s voice lowered to a gentle tone, seeing that Jack was obviously very fragile.

 

Jack blinked a few times before barking out a sob, “He’s dead, D-Doctor.  He’s dead, and it’s my fault…”

 

“Who’s dead?” asked the Doctor, who tried to desperately get Jack to look at him, “Who’s dead, Jack?  Tell me.”

 

Jack whimpered -- actually whimpered, “Ianto… M-My… My co-worker and-and…” he couldn’t finish -- he couldn’t admit to himself that he had loved the beautifully kind teaboy who had been Ianto Jones, the man who he got killed.

 

“I-I’m sorry.” the Doctor murmured -- he had only met Ianto through a computer screen back when Davros tried to steal the Earth -- when he had the fierce Donna Noble by his side.

 

She was gone too.  Not quite dead, but she was cursed to live without all the memories of her amazing adventures, without the knowledge that she had saved the whole of reality, past, present, future, parallel.  It was all there because of her.

 

Jack sniffled, then asked, “Where were you?”

 

“What?” the Time Lord arched an eyebrow, “I don’t understand.”  
  


A flash of rage burned through Jack, “Every child on Earth was t-taken over by the 456… You should’ve been there to save him… t-to save them.  It’s your precious world!”

 

“Jack, I’m sorry… I was busy--”

 

Jack interrupted venomously, “Bullshit.” he paused, inhaling, “But it’s okay… because… because you can bring him back.  You h-have a time machine, the-the TARDIS, you can go back in time and y-you can save him!”

 

“You know I can’t…” the Doctor exhaled, “We don’t know the effects it will have on the world, what it’ll change--”

 

Jack once more interrupted, snapping, “I don’t care!” he yelled, “I _loved_ him, okay?” tears streamed down his cheeks as he hiccuped, “I l-loved him, and I don’t care if you have to burn out a fucking solar system… I just want him back.”

 

The Doctor was about to say something to his friend, tell him that there was no way he could do it, but found him grabbed by the collar and forced against a wall, the grip strong enough to hurt -- which it did, a lot.

 

“You _bring him back_!” Jack cried, “Bring him back, Doctor, or s-so help me…”

 

The Doctor winced from the feeling of Jack’s fingers digging into his skin.  He could smell the tang of whiskey upon his breath, and knew that this grief was killing him.  For a second, he even considered doing what Jack needed, but he knew he couldn’t.

 

“Just… bring him back to me…” Jack pleaded, “I _n-need_ him back…”  
  


The Doctor exhaled, “I’m so, so sorry, Jack.” then felt himself being dropped by the man, “I just… I can’t.”

 

“Where were you?” Jack’s voice was completely broken, and there were some people staring as they passed.

 

The Time Lord exhaled, “Alone.  I had to wipe Donna’s memory, being half Time Lord was killing her.”  
  


“Oh.” Jack looked down, “So you went away… when we needed you?”

 

The Doctor nodded, “And I am so sorry for that.”  
  


“Stop apologising!” Jack’s voice rose an octave, “It won’t bring him back… and now, I’ve gotta face eternity without him.”

 

The suit clad man in front of him sighed, “I can’t bring him back, but I can… I can remind you of your best moment with him…  Your single favourite memory.” he saw Jack shudder, “Let me, Jack…” the Time Lord put his fingers onto Jack’s temples, then brought his head to his chest, feeling the ex-conman fully open his mind to him.

 

An image appeared to Jack -- a memory.

 

-

  
“Ianto, are you okay?” Jack asked -- they had just arrived back at the Torchwood Hub (which was now destroyed) after an an eventful day including almost being killed by insane people from the countryside.

 

Ianto gave a short, humourous laugh, like Jack was asking him something in a foreign language, “Um… you can ask me that, tomorrow, sir.”

 

“Seriously?” Jack’s hand brushed his across the desk, and two pairs of blue eyes locked.

  
Ianto moved a few papers and leaned against the desk, clearing his throat, “I will be.” the Welsh accented smooth voice spoke, and Jack found himself slightly entranced by the teaboy, “Cup of coffee, sir?”

 

Jack got to his feet, “I’m alright, thank you.”

 

“You sure?” Ianto looked up at him, now basically half his height as he slouched.

 

Jack sighed, “You headed home soon, then?”

 

“That you chucking me out?” Ianto asked, a smile upon his face.

 

Jack replied, “Of course not.  Why would I chuck out the prettiest member of my team?”

 

“Are you flirting with me, sir?” Ianto asked, and the smirk upon Jack’s face answered his question, “Obviously.”

 

Jack exhaled, “If you want me to stop…”

 

“I never said that.” Ianto grinned, getting up and suddenly finding himself very close to Jack.

 

Blue eyes flew to Ianto’s lips, and Jack inhaled, “Um… Yeah… so..”  
  


“Oh, bloody ‘ell…” Ianto groaned, then stepped forward, closing the space between them, his lips pressing against Jack’s own.

 

Jack immediately kissed back, hands wiring into Ianto’s hair, trying to pull him closer than humanly possible, both releasing sighs and moans into each other’s mouths.  Jack pushed the younger man back against a wall, unable to stop the smirk on his face.

 

-

 

Damn, thought Jack, the memory got even better after that.

 

But that brief trip down memory lane did nothing for him.  It just reminded him that the man who had kissed him so confidentely was gone.  Taken from him.  Tears continued to bleed from him as he sobbed into the Doctor’s chest, the Time Lord hushing him whilst he stroked his hair.

 

One of the last things Ianto had said to Jack whilst dying in his arms, the sounds of screams from other rooms around him was that he loved him, and Jack never reciprocated those words because he attempted to shut out what was happening, attempted to tell himself Ianto would survive.  Now that he was dead, all Jack wanted to do was hold him.

 

Hours passed, and as the faint buzz of alcohol that cut out most of the hurt faded, Jack found himself unable to even cry anymore -- he didn’t deserve it -- everything was his fault.  He had the memory of screaming to the 456 to spare Ianto, begging, pleading, even taking back his threats and telling them that they could take all the children of Earth if they would just leave him alone.  He loved him that much he was willing to sacrifice all those people for him.  Every single time he closed his eyes, he could see Ianto’s blue eyes shutting for the final time, and every single kiss, every single laugh, every arguement, every date, meant nothing anymore because Ianto was dead.

 

“Can you take it away?” Jack asked -- he hadn’t the heart to do it himself, but luckily, the Doctor had two of them.

 

The Time Lord who sat opposite him in the alley shook his head, “I can’t do that to you, Jack.  You loved him, and I am not making you forget it.  Loss and grief is what makes us human.”  
  


“But you’re not human!” Jack snapped.

 

The Doctor pulled his brown trenchcoat tightly around himself and exhaled, “True, but I know what it’s like to lose somebody I love.  I’ve sang this song a million times, Jack.”  
  


“D-Does it get any less painful?” with that sentence, Jack sounded so young and innocent, his eyes red-rimmed and irritated.

 

The Doctor shook his head, “Not in my 904 years has it ever gotten easier.  In fact, it gets harder, but each of those losses shape the person you are to become.”

 

“It was bound to happen anyway…” Jack tried to convince himself, “We were toxic for each other.  I was immortal, h-he wasn’t.”  
  


The Doctor sighed and moved beside Jack, resting his hand on his knee comfortingly, “When I first met you Jack, you were, no offense, an idiot.  But living your life has shaped you into a wonderful guy, Ianto shaped you into a wonderful guy.  But you’ve got to try and let go.  I don’t mean forget him, but grieve him, then try and continue living.  Because he would hate to see you like this.”  
  


“I-I don’t know what to do, Doctor.” Jack whimpered, then felt the tears start in his eyes again.

 

The Time Lord sighed, “Come here.” he hugged Jack, allowing him to once more, cry into him, pressing his lips to his head, trying to soothe him, “Everything’s going to be okay, Jack, I promise.”  
  


Dark eyes look up to the sky, pleading that the other man would get through this grief -- he didn’t deserve it.  The Time Lord begged, his old eyes filled with pity and sorrow for his friend.

  
Anyone but him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda shit, I know, but I tried. And it's angsty.


End file.
